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| Costner taunts crowd with inflatable penis. |
| Tuesday February 14 2006 |
| By our L.A. correspondent Tornado Dogfright. |
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| Kevin Costner: bigger than you'll ever be. |
| Kevin Costner wreaked havoc at the premier of his new film 'Kung Fu Schmuck' when he verbally abused the crowd of movie fans waiting outside the cinema and taunted them with a large, inflatable penis. |
| 'Kung Fu Schmuck' already has a troubled history; previous star Eddie Murphy walked out during preproduction, and the film has drawn strong criticism from the Anti-Defamation League, who called it "a really crappy movie." |
| The trouble began shortly after Costner arrived, accompanied by 'King Kong' actress Naomi Watts, who was there by accident after mistaking Costner's limo for a kosher deli. Costner, who was over two hours late, made no attempt to apologize, pushing an already restless and agitated crowd over the edge. Several people began to heckle the 'Waterworld' star, who managed to remain unfazed through a barrage of insults. However, his calm demeanor was shattered when someone shouted 'has-been', prompting him to launch into an angry tirade against the crowd. |
| All stories are fictional and use of real names is intended satirically. |
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| Naomi Watts: I'd do her |
| "Has-been? You ignorant crap? I'm the one starring in the movie! The only has-been here is your big fat momma!" Costner paused at this point to return to his limo, re-emerging with a large inflatable penis, which he brandished at the audience while shouting "I'm bigger than you, and I'll always be bigger than you!" He then began beating those nearest to him with the phallus, not stopping until two security guards dragged him away. |